Our Sweet Baby Jay

was born 9 years ago today. Weighing in at 8 lbs 14oz, William Jason Gaskins entered this world fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). He was knit together in my womb and every day of his life was recorded in God’s book (Psalm 139:13-16). On January 5th, 2001 at 5:00AM, our Jay was born to us with a sovereign purpose. A purpose of peace and not disaster, a purpose of a future filled with HOPE (Jeremiah 29:11).

When Jay was diagnosed with cancer at the age of two, I was told that the seeds of the tumor were formed in my womb and continued to slowly grow after he was born. Medically speaking, something went awry in his DNA that caused the cancerous cells and there was a defect. Awry is defined as, "away from the correct or expected course.” Defect is defined as, “a lack of something necessary for perfection; an imperfection.” Both of these definitions imply a mistake, and for years I was guilt-ridden that maybe I had something to do with why Jay had cancer. After all, the “bad” seeds had grown inside of me.

In Exodus 4:11, God asked Moses, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who give him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? In John 9:1-3, Jesus and the disciples were walking along and saw a man who had been blind from birth. The Disciples asked, “Rabbi, why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?” Jesus answered, “It was not because of his sins or his parent’s sins. This happened so that the power of God could be seen in him.” God didn’t tell Moses that He only permitted deafness or blindness. He said that He created people with those conditions. In the New Testament, Jesus declares that there was a divine, sovereign purpose in the man’s blindness.

Seven months into treatment, Jay and I were able to return home from Memphis. Multiple surgeries, radiation and chemotherapy had taken a toll on his little body. He was thin, pale, bald, scarred and he had a tracheotomy and a feeding tube. His appearance was somewhat shocking to others, especially strangers who did not know our story. One day, the kids and I went to lunch at a local sandwich shop. Jay was tired and I was holding him while ordering our food. Like many times before, I was trying my best to ignore the stares, but I noticed a young woman who couldn’t keep her eyes off of Jay. I could tell that Jay had noticed because he was burying his head into my chest. Being the overprotective Mama, I turned to this woman and said, “Can I help you?”(((insert sarcasm))) People had said some real boneheaded things over the past 7 months, but I was totally caught off guard with what came out of her mouth. She cocked her head, looked straight at Jay and said, “Was he born like that?” Not really knowing how to respond, I just said, “No” and moved on. Of course, I have thought of so many comebacks that would have been so good! But, I am ashamed to say that most of them would not have been very Christ like. Now, almost six years later and with a renewed Biblical perspective, I know exactly what I should have said, minus the sarcasm.

"Yes ma’am, he was born just like this. Unmistakably perfect, completely wonderful and purposefully made."


As the mother of a child who was born with what our medical community called a “defect”, I can now find great comfort in knowing that nothing happens randomly or because of bad genes or bad luck. God is all sovereign, full of grace and does not make mistakes. Romans 8:28-30 tells us that, "In all things God works for good with those who love him, those whom he has called according to his purpose. Those whom God had already chosen he also set apart to become like his Son, so that the Son would be the first among many brothers. And so those whom God set apart, he called; and those he called, he put right with himself, and he shared his glory with them."


Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you that we are able to celebrate the birth of our sweet Baby Jay today, who was fearfully and wonderfully made in your image. Thank you for your sovereign purpose for him and for each of us. Jay’s five years of life were precious and beyond all treasure, and I thank you for entrusting Jason and I to be his parents. What an honor it has been.

Dear Baby Jay,

Today we will celebrate your birthday by having lunch at Chick-fil-A and dinner at Ingleside Pizza…two of your favorite places! Kaitlyn wants to bake you a cake(yellow with chocolate icing) and Tanner wants to send you 9 green balloons…your favorite color! We will tell stories, look at old pictures and find comfort in knowing that we will all be together again one day. We love you, Baby Jay and miss you so much.

Love and kisses,
Mommy, Daddy, Sissy and Tan Man